Go on a blind date they said, it'll be funny they said (feat. Graham) {english}

(Downtown San Francisco, 2012)

The day had started like any other working day. And yet it would unexpectedly make my life more meaningful. But how was I supposed to know that? If only I knew, I would have been less ridiculously nervous about having a blind date on the evening. For days, I had been trying in vain to think about any excuses for not going. Alas! Of course going out on a date was not something new for me; I had done that many times before. Still, I should have not agreed for that. Dating someone I have never seen before sounded so adventurous in the way that I did not know what to expect. For many people I guess, it would be no big deal but I was – and still am – very shy of strangers... and a homebody... too much polite to cancel on the man at the last minute though.
I was busy watching the raindrops falling on the pane when I said: “Raining cats and dogs today.” A waste of saliva since there was no one to answer me back; I still was in my car about to step out of it. “Get a hold on yourself Giselle! And, more importantly, get out of the car...” Curiously, those words helped me taking my courage in both hands. I did get out of it – at last! – and headed for the meeting place : a bar in downtown San Francisco.
When I walked into the place, I suddenly realized how perfectly I was matching with the usual clichés about the English. A pale-skinned woman, with an eclectic and unexpected sense of style, and holding an umbrella could not avoid being stereotyped as English, could she? It would be neither the first nor the last time anyway; I had already got used to it now that I have been living here for more than a year. What really mattered at the moment was finding my date – Graham O’Connell – to introduce myself. I had even seen a photograph but I could not remember his face ; unfortunately, I could see two men who could be him... God please help me!
Fingers crossed, I walked up to the nearest man, who seemed the right one to me. “Excuse me.” I smiled a shy smile. “I’m looking for Graham O’Connell. I’m supposed to meet him here tonight.” I did not dare asking straightforward if he was the man; it would be so embarrassing if I was addressing the wrong person...

(Downtown San Francisco, 2012)

Today was going to be a light day of work he could tell it right away because it was already past noon and still no phone calls or many emails in the inbox. Not that he would be complaining, he knew some day were busy and others not and one of the perks of working at home was he could use that free time to another purpose if he wanted to. He figured he could clean the place, the dining room needed a bit of fresh air anyway. He knew he'd have to leave early later on to go on the blind date some friends of his had arranged for him tonight but he wasn't thinking too much about it. Dating was not something he was a stranger to and he trusted the guys to set him up with someone he might like, not only speaking about her appearence. He wasn't one of those shallow dudes who only wanted to date models that couldn't handle their own in a prolonged conversation. He wasn't going to lie and say that looks isn't important, the first contact is always visual but that really wasn't his first go to criteria when it comes to a girl. And he knew some of his own traits could annoy so no bullshitting from his part, he wasn't going to pretend to be Mr Perfect tonight.

When the time came, he started preparing himself. A quick shower was in ordrer -cleanning the loft made him sweat a bit in the end- and after that he picked his outfit for the night. He decided to go with his usual attire: a pair of black jeans, a white shirt topped with a waistcoat but no tie. Classy but not too mucheither. Just enough to show his silhouette without giving too much away. He figured going in a hoodie or one of his favorite silly t-shirts wasn't an option even if he wasn't too bummed to wear those clothes as it was pretty much his work attire. Working at home didn't mean he was going to see clients wearing sweatpants. Anyway. He arrived a little early at the bar where they were supposed to meet and sat down at the bar, ordering a club soda while he'll wait for his date. Nervous ? No not really, he never had any real bad experience on that front. He usually ended up in good terms with his previous relationships and he wasn't a jerk so why should this go bad ? Worst case scenario ? They'd never see each other again after that so that was no big deal. Rejection was not something he couldn't handle. He had already downed half of his drink when he heard a feminine voice next to him. Turning over, he let her speak and smiled when she finished her phrase. « Well look no more for it is I. » he replied taking a deeper voice to sound like a cartoon character. Laughing of himself for doing this, he smiled again and offered his hand to the young lady. « Sorry for that, I can't help myself sometimes. Graham, nice to meet you Giselle. » He shook her hand politely and turned to the bar for a second before starring at her again. « D'you wanna sit at a table or stay here ? Drinks are on me of course. »

I felt so relieved when I could address the man without a shaking voice. Nevertheless, I was not to be out the woods yet; I still needed to find out whether or not he was my date. Much to my surprise, he was the actual Graham O’Connell I was looking for. Unfortunately, disconcertion – rather than contentment – showed up on my face for he unexpectedly answered with some kind of cartoon voice. As he was laughing of his impression, I tried to regain my composure, feeling like an idiot because there was no reason to be startled. « Sorry for that, I can't help myself sometimes. Graham, nice to meet you Giselle » I smiled back at him then, while we were shaking hands. « Nice to meet you too. » Actually, I would have answered “You have no idea how relieved I am now that I’ve found you” but I preferred being formal. « I’m Giselle. » I added before I realized there was no need. « And... you know that. I’m sorry. » I really was an idiot! I did nothing more than embarrass myself in front of Graham. Not really a good start... « D'you wanna sit at a table or stay here ? Drinks are on me of course. » He said later. I was not so keen on the idea of sitting there, at the bar counter. It seemed to me that we would be too close and I would certainly feel ill-at-ease. « I may prefer sitting at a table. And thank you for the drinks. » I answered politely.
We moved from the bar to a table not far from there. As I was sitting down on the seat, I suddenly realized the place was surprisingly crowded with people that night – or maybe did I let myself be impressed too easily by such an amount of people? In any case, I was far from being comfortable and I could barely look my date in the eyes. « I guess it’s the moment we’re supposed to make acquaintance. » I declared, clearly worried about the course of our blind date. Then I cleared my throat. « I’ve heard from our mutual friends that you’ve set up your own business.  » I tried to be the more natural I could but that was hard. I was pretty sure Graham himself could tell running away from here was tempted me.

(Downtown San Francisco, 2012)

Sometimes he was really a big kid. That was something his family and especially his big sister kept telling him but that was him, he never pretend to be all serious and business all the time. He always had a pretty laidback personality, even when he was still a teen and he didn't see why he'd have to change completely because his age supposedly meant he was to act a certain way. And it worked for him as far as he could tell. He had good friends, his agency was doing pretty good and he had nothing to complain about his current state. So why was he supposed to change just to appease some people ? But he couldn't help answering the gal standing before him like he did and saw immediately in her reaction he took her off guard, rushing to excuse himsef for doing it -even if he'd do it again if he could turn back time-. Shaking hands after that little awkward introduction, Graham genuinely smiled when she said her name again, in some way making them even for saying things they shouldn't have. « Don't be. It's good to know I didn't get a fake name. » he replied still smiling while raising an eyebrow. yeah, that happened but now was not the time to think about that. He could feel she was nervous but didn't mind and instead asked her about whether if she wanted to remain where they were or moved to a table to chat. Offering the first round of drinks also because chivalry wasn't completely dead yet. « Lead the way then. » he retorted, following her to the table of her choosing before they both sat down there amongst the rest of the clients of the bar.

Indeed the place was swarming tonight, probably due to the fact that it was friday and people wanted to unwind after a week of work. TGIF crowd so to speak. But ironically, at least it would offer them some privacy nobody caring about what they'd be saying or doing. Nodding slowly in agreement when Giselle spoke again, he smiled as she talked about his job. « Yes, it's a PR agency. I'm mostly dealing with setting advertissment campain, organizing events and helping some companies image. » he explained while hailing the waiter that passed nearby to catch his attention so they could order their drinks. « They told you're a doctor, now that's impressive. » he added, letting her give her order to the waiter now that he was standing next to them. He asked for beer. He could have take something stronger but he just didn't want to. Not that he couldn't hold his liquor but he just didn't feel like drinking something too strong right now and on an empty stomach. After the guy went back, he looked back at Giselle. « I didn't get your speciality though. » He didn't asked too much ahead precisely to let some things to be discussed over at that date. That was supposed to be the fun part about a blind date after all, getting to know each other so he didn't want to spoil it asking a complete report about her.

Probably because my nervousness really was obvious, the man has shown great understanding when I mistakenly told him my name again.  He even shared his satisfaction of knowing my name was not a fake one. « I wouldn’t dare giving you a fake name. I’m pretty shocked at knowing there are people out there who would do that actually. » I assured, frowning in puzzlement. What would be the point of all of this if honesty was missing anyway? What’s more, we were meeting in order to come to know the other slightly: there was clearly no place for lies. And as Graham seemed to be a reasonable person, I expected nothing but the truth when I came to ask him about his work. « From what I’ve heard, I thought it was an advertising agency. That’s quite different from a PR agency… But that’s interesting too.  » I commented, putting on a smile to conceal my embarrassment. And that bloody feeling of awkwardness grew even stronger when my date expressed his admiration for me being a doctor, making me blush; but also when I ordered a virgin mojito, because I ridiculously feared he might ask why I would not drink alcohol. That did not happen – not yet – since Graham were still asking about my job, wondering what could be my specialty. « Well… I’m paediatrician. » I told him before adding : « At the San Francisco General Hospital. Nothing really impressive about that. » Probably, I seemed pretty unconfident but I was serious. Of course, being a doctor meant healing people – children in my case – and saving lives – or at least as many as I was able to – and I could understand why the job sounded so admirable. Nevertheless, I was firmly convinced mine was far from being the most admirable of all: I have always had a particular admiration for the ER team actually. But, anyway, that was not really the subject.
The waiter rushed us our drinks with unexpected rapidity despite the crowd. I thanked him with a smile before he went away quickly, probably overbooked. « Wow. The staff really is efficient here. » I observed, playing for time to come up with a new topic of conversation. « Are you a regular?  » I finally asked since I could not choose a new one. « Anyway, this is my first time here. » And the place was not the only one I have never stepped in before for sure: San Francisco still was a real mystery for me. Time for a visit. But where would I find the courage to do so when I was alone…

(Downtown San Francisco, 2012)

Read people, understand how they feel and what they think was kind of what he was doing for a living so, of course he wasn't going to judge her because she repeated her name to him as they met. The precise context of the night was making him feel nervous too except it didn't show as much on the outside. « More than you know, which consequently make it harder to actually trust people enough to start a relationship, ending up creating a circle and... well you know the drill. » he said, signing with his hand that all that meant a vicious circle. Ironic indeed but some people apparently weren't seeing that point still when they were out to find a match for themselves. No wonder they were somany singles out there with that logic... So he was releaved to see she shared his opinion on that matter and answered her question, correcting her about the exact extent of his work. « Well, we're doing a bit of both I guess. To be honest with you, I just thought it would sound better on the business card. » he added, chuckling a bit. That was silly of him he knew that but when he said it at loud, O'Connell PR sounded inherently classier. Anyway. He then asked her about her job and expressed his awe for it. He had it pretty easy at the uni, having some advantage over others when it cames to learn things but medecine was something else than communication and for that only, he already felt respect for her, for the commitment it required too. At least eight years of studies, that indeed was impressive, especially when you knew that that knowledge made a difference to save people's lives.

He didn't say anything about what she ordered simply because she wanted to drink this one and not another, he wasn't searching for what it could mean or else. Asking her about what speciality she'd choose, he nodded when she answered bu frowned a little hearing her say it wasn't as impressive as he claimed it to be. « Nothing impressive about saving children ? By my book that's just the opposite. » he said very serious. But he felt she wasn't too keen on taking the compliment further so he didn't push it. Thanking the waiter as he swiftly came back with their drinks, he nodded again at her comment. « Good bars usually have good staff. » he commented, taking a sip from his own drink before setting it on the table as she asked him if he was a regular. « Guess you could say that. I'm coming from time to time after work or to celebrate with clients. I love the place's atmosphere. » he replied, smiling at her after she added her last words. « It's okay, I promise I'll be gentle. » Did he really pulled that joke ? Yes he did, hoping it'll definitely break the ice and ease the tension between them but that wasn't maybe the best way to do it of course. He just couldn't help himself making jokes like that when the occasion presented itself. « That was probably inapropriate for a first date. Sorry. But I swear usually girls like my sense of humour. » he added, trying to make the situation less embarrassing even if he sensed it was already a bust.

For a short instant, I had completely forgotten the circumstances and I had felt at ease, at least a little, as Graham had been explaining his experience with those dishonest people. I could not do anything else but nodding at his last words. « I do know unfortunately. » I commented about the “drill” he had just mentioned. « I just can’t get the reason why people actually act so badly. » I felt like I was repeating myself a little but I must have unconsciously thought my date might have the (ultimate) answer.
Later on, I came to know better about his work and his motives for such a profession. Despite my uncomfortable position – even though there was no reason for it to be uncomfortable – I laughed heartily. « At least you’re honest. This is quite pleasant. » I giggled once again. « But I must admit you’re probably right about that. » At that moment, I started to feel angry at myself because I was ruining our date with my unnecessary and unjustified nervosity… and embarrassment. « I guess clients are not lacking in such a big city. Am I wrong? I’m not familiar with the field. » I asked before he shared his high opinion on my profession.
It was nice to be complimented about being a paediatrician but I could not consider myself as impressive as he seemed to do. As a consequence, I was being the perfect embodiment of the Flushed Face emoji « I really can get the reason why you are so impressed but for me this is so… I don’t know. I think nothing of caring for my young patients. » Maybe my words could be interpreted as if I did not give my job any importance. False. I was aware of my responsibility – as a doctor – towards my patients and that was the reason why I never gave up on it even on the worst moments.
Fortunately, I put an end to my embarrassment as I commented the efficiency of the staff. Graham was right ; it probably implied how god the place was. « Probably. I can’t be judge of that. Bars are not places I usually frequent. » Then I explained it as the first time I have come to the place. And his reply has been quite… strange. Puzzled, I was about to ask some explanations. « I beg your pardon I’m not sure I... » I did not have the time though since he interrupted me to apologize. And I finally got the joke. My face suddenly fell for sure. « Er… » I tried to put on a smile but my lips could not move. « I’m sure they do. Joking seems to be your… thing.. » What a pity I could not be the right audience to actually appreciate his last joke. Much more nervous than I was on my way earlier, I swallowed half of my drink in one gulp. « Er… Excuse me a minute. I need to go to the ladies room. » Clumsily, I got up and I headed for the toilets. There, I had to take a deep breath. My date seemed to be an agreeable man. Nevertheless, as far as I was concerned, it was impossible to imagine him as a love interest or something like that. Unfortunately, it was a little late to go back home and I wished for a second that they needed me at the hospital… and they apparently did not… So… I came back to my seat and apologize for my short absence. « Sorry. » I put on a shy smile. « Er... » Now, I just wished I could revive our discussion.

(Downtown San Francisco, 2012)

There was indeed perks to put yourself out there, in the dating world in a context where people didn't care much nowadays about basic decent behaviours. Cheating was common, whether it was about lying about yourself or about your relationship. he could go on and on, prattling about all this for hours but it wasn't the point of this evening so he just concluded to her last words with his. « Neither do I but that's the way it goes these days. That's why I make sure to be sincere from the get go. » No ultimate answer to the wonders and dark side of human psychee, not from him at least. And to be honest, that wasn't a topic he wanted to discuss over for a first date, not really a good start to point out the relative hypocrisy of the process when played wrong. Work. A commun ground and an easy subject to talk about. His was indeed a bit of both activities he cited before hand but as he said, the name had been picked mostly because it rolled better on the tongue. « I never really knew how to lie properly. » he joked a little and nod to her assumption about his business. « Yeah, lot of big companies to work with, entertainning scene is huge around here so I don't have to worry about finding clients. Which is a luxury I'm well aware of in those days. » But he wanted to praise her then, learning what she was doing on her side. A doctor. Yeah, clearly on his list, that largely topped his job and qualified for some awe. « Maybe I watched ER too much » he first answered, smiling goofily « or maybe I just found it great that people still care about other people to commit to them as much as you people do. » he added simply. But he wasn't going to argue much more about that feeling her discomfort about it.

Their drinks arrived quickly and provided for them a new topic to discuss about. Graham did indeed come here often, enough so to be qualified as a regular at least, contrary to Giselle who admitted after his answer not to be one to go out in place like this often. But then, God knows why he did that, he joked about that and realise almost immediately he'd gone too far. Usually his humor was a good ice-breaker but maybe this time he met someone who wasn't particularly used to it. Idiot, he cursed himself while keeping it straight on the outside. « Sure, I'll stay here. » he simply answered after she drank her glass in a single gulp. Yeah, that was the sign that he just ruined the night but he couldn't blame her, he was the one who went too far. Patiently waiting for her to come back, he looked around, trying not to look too defeated by his own silly mind and as he saw her coming back, seeming really uncomfortable, he decided to call it quits. « You don't need to apologize. I'm the one that should be doing it. And I probably should call you a cab and pay for the ride as I ruined the night for you. I'm sorry. » he said, nodding slightly while hailing the waiter to bring him the check. Living the bills on the table as they processed to exit the bar, Graham turned to her again. « I know I made a fool of myself tonight, but I really enjoyed talking to you. You really seem like a good person. » he said, smiling even if still a bit ill-at-ease about what happened. « Goodbye Giselle. » was his last words to her that night as she climbed in the car after they waited a couple of minutes for a cab to pass by. A strange first meeting that was for them. But fortunately, they were able to laugh at it later on, after they get to know each other more but as firends this time, as it tourns out they were better at that than flirting with the other.